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What if I'm Depressed?

If you listen to Tony Robbins or Brendon Burchard or Rachel Hollis – or any other inspirational speaker worth their salt, they’re all going to give you advice on having positive energy, taking care of your body, general health and wellness, and finding joy. That’s basically a key component of their job…

… and mine.

I’m a high performance coach and leadership coach. One of my main jobs is to hold up a mirror in front of you, my client, and show you the greatness you can attain. I coach you through the lows and highs, help you make your strengths stronger, and coach you to learn from your weaknesses. I love my job. I love seeing people take the incredibly bold step of first daring to dream, then turning those dreams into goals, and going after those goals with tenacity and fervor.

I freaking love my job.

But what do you do when you’re depressed? Depression can be a clinical state or it can be feeling "blue".

What do you do when you suffer Seasonal Affective Disorder or periods of intense melancholy?

Can you be a high performer while struggling with depression?

Can you bring joy and positive energy to your life, even as you’re struggling to get out of bed?

Being an exhausted, over-worked, under-nourished, and depressed mom is something I understand very well. Fighting through major depression is something I, too, understand and not just from a clinical perspective – which is what I studied in both undergraduate and grad school. I mean: I understand because I’ve been there.

I’ve been so close to the end of my rope that death seemed a welcome relief. I’ve been so depressed that my body ached. I’ve had such crippling anxiety that I thought I was having a heart attack.

I’ve been there and here’s what I know:
It doesn’t last forever. There are ways out of it.
I also know for certain that you are not alone.

You, struggling mama, who hasn’t slept in at least a year and wonder if you’ll ever feel beautiful again.

You, high performing badass who keeps not getting promoted, and who’s wondering if anyone will ever appreciate all you’ve done.

You, middle-aged mom re-entering the workforce, all the while wondering if your career days are passed and if you’ll ever be able to catch up after being out of the game for years while you raised her kids.

You, 20-something graduate who's wondering why you spent $100k on education and can’t even find a job.

You, struggling administrative assistant who’s got so much more inside of her bur has no idea how to transition, and just feels eternally stuck.

You’re not alone.
I see you there.
I see your struggle.
Photo by Michael Rosner-Hyman on Unsplash

Here’s what I know for sure that can help you get through this season:

1) Find a routine. A steady routine can help bring contentment, peace, and predictability in a world that seems chaotic, fragile, and overwhelming. Whether it’s a morning routine, an evening routine, or a lunch routine – find one and keep it. That small piece of your day that you get to control and plan is like a slice of heaven. Create it and then protect it.

If you’re a new mom with a baby who doesn’t sleep, definitely don’t try to make that routine in the morning. That’s just setting yourself up to fail. Your routine might be as simple as listening to the same song 5x while you drive up and down your street and breathe slowly. It might be stopping at the same place every day on the way to work. Just find something you can do predictably that will bring you peace and calm. If you need help, message me and I’ll help you.

2) Find an outlet. Whether it’s a counselor, an anonymous support group online, or painting in your garage, find something that lets you get your feelings outside of your body. When you keep all those feelings inside your body, they build up. They cause physical pain. They intensify feelings of grief and anxiety. So find a way to let those pain, depressed, anxious, fearful feelings out. Again, if you need help, message me.

3) Create something. We are creative beings. We create new life. We create presentations. We create music and art. We create birthday cakes. We create greeting cards. We create bags and photo albums and beautiful planner pages. We create t-shirts and coffee mugs. We were made to be creative. Find something to create. It doesn’t have to be a huge massive project. It literally could be watching Bob Ross on YouTube and trying to paint one of his paintings, or knitting a shitty scarf for your best friend. Let your body and mind do what it was made to do: create something.

4) Get help. You might need Prozac or Wellbutrin or Xanax. Listen, diabetics don’t feel like failures because they need insulin. They need it. That’s it. So, if you need some medicine, take it. It’s not a failure. It’s a triumph. Take care of your mind and body. You might need AA or OA or AlAnon. You might need a therapist. You might need medical intervention. Talk to a doctor or trusted advisor, talk through your issues and get help.

If you are an empty glass, you cannot pour out. If you try, you’ll tip over and break.

So, instead – Stand tall. Stand tall and let others pour into you and at some point, all that goodness you allow inside you will overflow to everyone else around you.

How do you be a #leadinglady, high performer, joy-giver while you’re depressed, struggling through a low-point in life, and feeling small?

Stand tall. Find a routine. Find an outlet. Create something. And get some support.

This community is here for you, too. We get it. We’ve been there and you are not alone.

Yes, You can be a high performer while being depressed.

Yes, You can bring joy to others when you’re feeling down.

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