This Ain't Sexy

self-dis·ci·pline

/ˈˌself ˈdisiplin/

noun

the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

The least sexy topic ever, right?

But, nonetheless, it’s the topic of my research for the last few weeks and will be the topic of September’s Group Coaching.

Why do I think this is the most important topic for September? Well, because I’ve been hearing – almost nonstop for the last five months – about how much people are struggling while working at home, balancing career, family, and crisis-mode. I’ve been hearing about the “quarantine 15” weight gain, and women living in yoga pants: walking mullets (business up top, slummin’ on the bottom). And I just keep thinking:

Is this really the way to live your life? Is this really what you want looking back at 2020? To look at a life of yoga pants, weight gain, missed career opportunities, stress, and insomnia?

Surely not!

I think maybe I’m coming off a little strong, so let me take breath <inhaaaaaaale> <exhhhhhhhale>

Y’all know I love me some Bible references, so here it comes:

“Finally, sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

Okay, I hear you: easier said than done, Moffat.

Here’s the thing, though – the longer you stay in a funk, the funkier you get. That’s #science.

Here’s what happens: you stick your mind on stress, on the overwhelming amount of dishes, (ffs: where do all those dishes come from?), on the piles of laundry, on Zoom fatigue, on “how the heck am I supposed to support virtual learning AND do my job” and what happens is this:

Your brain creates engrained neural pathways that default to these crappy thoughts.

That’s right! You’re actually training your brain to default to overwhelm, stress, anxiety, doubt, fear, and pain. Isn’t that horrible?

So, while it’s utterly and completely reasonable for us to all have had a month or 6 weeks of “what the hell am I going to do?”, sticking in this “survival” mode is training you to actually stay in survival mode.

If you want to get out of survival mode, you must actively discipline your mind to think differently. And, my friends, it is not easy.

But it’s worth it.

So, that’s what we’re talking about in September: How do you ret

rain your brain? How do you “take every thought captive?” How do you bring self-awareness to your life so that you can practice self-discipline?

Remember: if you want to be one of the great #leadingladies (or even a mediocre one), you’ve got to #leadyourself first.